INTO THE BLACK

“It can't be done,” Abe said defiantly. “Central says Mykur is currently in the Strawberry Milky Way Galaxy. We don't have enough fuel. Plus, we'd need to buy false documentation – they'll be on the lookout for The Love Crusader. We're talking 500,000 credits at least.”

“We can buy that stuff on the way,” Jupiter countered.

“Um, not necessarily,” Justice replied. “Our income from the Intergalactic Council has been frozen now there's a death order is on our heads. How much money do you and Abe have?”

“You think we would have signed on for this mission if we had any money?” said Abe dryly.

“Central: bring up bank account records for Liberty and Justice Forall,” Liberty said.

A hologram screen appeared before her with bank account details. Jupiter whistled.

“One million credits: I thought you said the Council had frozen the income they paid you,” Jupiter said.

“They have,” Liberty replied, her face slightly blushing. “It seems these credits are royalties from the sales of the dance track Are you sure the Martians' hideout is here?”

“You made a dance track?” asked Justice confused.

“It's a long story.”

“Ok, so say we could make it to the castle ship, how can we get in? We don't even have the security code,” Abe said.

“Oh I know that,” said Billy happily.

The crew watched Billy intently as he finished taking a big sip of his milkshake.

“That's yum,” he said, placing the drink back down on the table. “But yeah, the castle's security code is password.”

“Password? But that's insane! That's way too easy to guess,” said Google in disbelief.

“That's the point, silly head. Dad wants people to break in – then he can torture them. The whole castle is just a series of traps. It's much harder to get into throne room #1, that's where he keeps all his most valuable trophies. We'll need Tonky's help for that.”

“You mean Tonkins? Raymond Tonkins? Mykur's second-in-command, Raymond Tonkins?” Liberty asked.

“Yeah, I call him Tonky,” Billy replied. “He's the one who got me out to the Mallacandra when my dad wanted me killed. We can trust him.”

“You sure of that? He loaded you up with so much Tyrozone it's amazing you survived,” Liberty said.

“It needed to look convincing,” Billy replied as he sucked the milkshake dry.

Jupiter moved away from the main group, making his way to the cockpit lounge recliner. He was resting there, deep in thought, when Liberty approached.

“Something about Billy is bothering you, isn't it?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Care to talk about it?”

“Not just yet,” he replied. “No offence.”

“That's ok, but you can trust me, you know.”

“I know,” he said, looking her in the eye. “It just might be safer this way.”

“So what's the plan?”

“You're asking me?”

“Of course, but if your plan's stupid, I'll knock you out and take control,” she replied. Jupiter stood up from the recliner.

“The plan is: let's bring down an evil empire.”

“That's nice and dramatic – like if this were a book, that's where I'd probably put the end of the chapter, but I was kind of hoping you'd have something a little more specific.”

“They've had the galaxy's greatest strategists prepare their systems for every conceivable attack. There's no sane approach they won't see coming.”

“Why do you think I'm letting you come up with the plan?” Liberty said with a smile.

#

The Love Crusader's engines died down to a dull roar as it approached Prince Mykur's behemoth castle ship.

“You need to head underneath the moat,” Billy said pointing at the monitor. “That's where the docking bays are. And hail the Control Room before they open fire.”

“Hello Space Castle One, this is Pizza Pizza, we've got your order of five Carnivore Carnage Pizzas,” Jupiter said into the microphone.

“Ah, we don't have any record of a pizza order,” came the reply over the speaker.

“Oh, well we got told the security code is password. So we'll just drop them off and be on our way.”

“No. There must have been some mix up. Or maybe pranksters called the order in.”

“You didn't order the Carnivore Carnage?”

“No, we didn't order any pizzas! Please turn around immediately or we'll be forced to open fire.”

Liberty gave Jupiter a concerned look. Jupiter winked back at her.

“Oh that's too bad Space Castle One, because we didn't deliver them within the first 45 minutes, you could've had the pizzas for free.”

A long pause.

“Land in Docking Bay 327 and await further inspections.”

Abe carefully guided the ship under the moat to the sea of docking bays.

“There's number 327,” said Jupiter pointing towards one of the smaller airlock doors that was slowly sliding open.

“Makes sense,” said Liberty. “According to Billy's layout, this should place us near the Control Room – obviously they like their pizza.”

The Love Crusader touched down lightly inside the space castle.

“Well, here goes nothing,” said Jupiter as he put on his Pizza Pizza cap. Liberty and Justice did likewise.

“Abe, if you don't hear from us in 60 minutes, get Billy and Google out to safety.”

“Don't worry Jupe – If I don't hear from you in 59 minutes, I'm out of here.”

The door leading to The Love Crusader's ramp slid open. Jupiter paused, looking out at the docking bay before turning to face Liberty and Justice.

“Let's bring down an evil empire.”

“Are you completely insanely mad?” Jupiter asked as he turned the heating up on the Blackbird.

“Admit it, you're a little turned on, aren't you?” Liberty replied with a smirk as she punched some numbers into the navigation system.

“Explain it to me one more time.”

Liberty gently lowered Billy onto one of the Dead-Ezy teleportation chairs.

“It's simple – we attempt consecutive jumps. It's like the difference between throwing a stone into a lake versus skimming the stone across the water.”

“But skimming a stone doesn't kill me several times.”

“There's no other option. The army will be patrolling every teleportation station within a jump from here. If we can pull off five consecutive jumps we could be at Atlantis in the blink of an eye.”

“Or dead.”

“Yes: or dead. Every plan has its pros and cons. Look, we're young enough – in theory our bodies might be able to handle five consecutive jumps.”

“In theory because no one's ever been insane enough to risk it before!”

“Well I'd rather die in my death than be killed by Mykur,” Liberty said. Followed closely by, “Huh?”

“What is it?” Jupiter asked.

Liberty looked up from the monitor attached to the Dead-Ezy chair.

“The computer's found high traces of tyrozon in Billy's blood.”

“Tyrozon?”

“An extremely powerful and dangerous tranquilliser.”

“Why on Mars would Harvard and Belle drug him?”

“Well if we get out of this, let's be sure to ask them.”

#

“This isn't going to work,” Justice complained.

“Trust me,” replied Abe. “We go way back. I survived two rooms of death thanks to this insane computer. Look it's replying.”

The words I'm not supposed to alter the flight path. It would be very naughty of me. scrolled across the screen.

Abe quickly read the message and typed back.

That's too bad because we found the galaxy's biggest dolphin!

Oh! Can I kill it and swim in its skin? asked The Harland's security computer. Followed by: Please.

Yes! It said that's what it wanted you to do! Abe wrote back.

Aw, that news is like a sweater for my heart. :-) the computer replied.

“A sweater for its heart?” asked Google.

“Warms its heart,” explained Abe. “Keep up.”

I'm sending you the co-ordinates of the dolphin now. Abe wrote as he uploaded the position of the Planet Destroyer.

Oh pretty! That big dolphin looks exactly like a W2-class Planet Destroyer. I never knew they were so beautiful. How do I murder it?

“It just might have a chance if it crashes into the destroyer's engines. It's best shot is coming in from above. The destroyer hopefully won't be watching the skies if it's focused on us,” said Justice, starting to get excited.

If you whack it on the head at full speed, that should do.

Oh this will be fun – can we slaughter turtles next? They should be crunchy.

“You sure do have strange friends,” Justice muttered.

“Um, forgive me if you've already thought of this, but say that crazy ship does manage to bring down the Planet Destroyer... won't the Destroyer crash into Atlantis? You know, the place where we currently are.”

“Every plan has pros and cons,” said Justice. “That's why we need to go shopping.”

Inside the Atlantis Sports Megastore, Justice quickly directed them to the scuba section.

“Get changed into these quickly,” he said as Abe and Google grabbed some suits and headed to the change rooms. “Oh, but first... which do you think suits me more – the blue or the red wetsuit?” he asked.

Freshly changed (Justice in a blue wetsuit) they made their way back towards the computer when a hologram of Prince Mykur appeared before them.

“So, have you agreed to my demands?” he asked with a snarl.

Justice glanced across at the computer screen just in time to see the words Dolphin! Dolphin! I see you! Is it ok to kill you now? scroll across the screen.

“I'm afraid we find your offer unacceptable,” Justice told the hologram. Mykur silently went red with rage.

“Have a nice explosion,” he said before turning to his right. “Hail the Destroyer and instruct them to fire at will.” The hologram flickered off.

Abe rushed to the computer:

Yes, the dolfhin wants you to kill it right now!

Dolfhin!? But I wanted to kill a dolphin not a dolfhin. :'-(

Sorry, I meant to write dolphin. Just a typo.

:-)

The trio looked up through the glass ceiling just in time to see The Harland spaceship splash through the water headed straight for the Planet Destroyer.

“It's slowing down!” groaned Justice.

“It's not built for water – it'll never have enough power,” Google added.

DDDDDDDooooooooollllllllpppppppppphiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnn time!

“Have some faith,” said Abe with a smile as The Harland somehow managed to find new energy reserves as it slammed into the Planet Destroyer at top speed. “I'm going to miss that computer,” he added with a sigh.

“It worked,” gasped Justice. “I can't believe it, but it actually worked!”

Fire and smoke erupted from the Planet Destroyer as its collapsing metal shell groaned like a dying beast.

“Time to make our getaway,” Justice added as the massive ship quickly began to spiral into a nosedive, headed straight for the casino.

“Uh, what do we do once we reach the ocean top?” asked Abe as he swung open the airlock door.

“One thing at a time,” replied Justice. “One thing at a time.”

#

“Oh god I feel like my brain was pulled out through my nose, rubbed around a toilet bowl rim and then shoved back in,” groaned Jupiter.

Liberty vomited at his feet.

“Yuck, my mouth feels like I swallowed a decomposing skunk. How's the kid?”

“Still sleeping.”

“How can anyone sleep through being killed five times?” Liberty asked as she groggily picked herself up off the ground and looked out a window.

“Where are we?” Jupiter asked.

“All I can see is water – and it keeps moving. Oh no...” More vomit splashed across the floor.

Jupiter struggled his way into the cockpit.

“We made it,” he called back to Liberty. “We're at Atlantis.”

“Stop stuttering,” Liberty barked back before passing out into one of the chairs.

When Liberty came to she was back on-board The Love Crusader in her own quarters, resting in bed with a drip in her arm.

“Ah, you're awake,” Jupiter said gently.

“Oh god, how long have I been out? I'm sorry about... It's so embarrassing.”

“Don't be silly,” Jupiter told her. “You don't always need to act so invincible. Sometimes it's ok to be let people see that you're... vincible.”

“I'll try to keep that in mind,” she said with a smile before pulling the drip out of her arm. “Now how are you going locating the others?”

“Relax, I've already picked them up – they're drying off in the cockpit. It looks like they had quite the swim on Atlantis.”

“They're here!? Why didn't you say something!?” Liberty willed herself out of bed before collapsing against Jupiter.

“Do you want me to carry you?” he teased.

“Do you want me to knock you out?” she replied.

With Jupiter's assistance Liberty entered the cockpit to find a heated discussion taking place.

“I'm not saying we give him our piece of the key! I'm just saying we should hide while we can,” said Abe.

“With the kill order in place, our funds from the Intergalactic Council have been frozen. We'll starve to death if we hide.”

“But we'll be killed to death if we attempt to get the second piece of the key from Mykur!” countered Abe.

“Huh? What's going on?” asked Liberty confused.

“Mykur beat us to the second piece of the key,” Jupiter told her.

“Please tell me you're joking.”

“Unfortunately he's not,” said Google. “So instead of avoiding Mykur, we've somehow got to break into his castle."

“Which only happens to be the most highly guarded ship in the universe,” Abe added.

“Um, I might be able to help with that,” said a meek voice from the corner of the room. Everyone slowly turned to face Billy.

“Oh yeah, I've been meaning to ask: Who the hell is he?” said Abe.

“I'm Blade - Prince Mykur's fifth son. But you can call me Billy,” he said with a smile.