INTO THE BLACK

“You see, Google, you can't win,” said Prince Mykur with an evil grin. “Why, even with all the luck in the world, you couldn't manage a draw. The cards were stacked against you, and all you ever had was a losing hand,” he continued, before angrily tossing a piece of paper across the room – throne room #21.
“What's the matter, my lord?” asked Tonkins.
“Weren't you listening!? My victory monologue is awful! I don't want to bore him to death before I kill him.”
“But we've had some of our best poets and wordsmiths working on it, your majesty. They've followed your notes. Johanson wrote the latest draft himself.”
“Johanson – I've seen him on the entertainment shows; he always seems so happy, not a care in the world. Great writers aren't meant to be happy – they're meant to be brooding, depressed alcoholics! Have his wife murdered – let's see if that can't spark some progress. Now tell me, what is the latest news on Google?”

#

“It's freezing in here,” Liberty said, rubbing her arms to keep warm as she walked inside the dome, which covered an area roughly the size of a football field.
“What is this place?” asked Google, as he looked across the snow-filled enclosure. “It's like some sort of winter wonderland.”
“I guess it's an indoor ski centre – perhaps there isn't any natural snow on this world so they came here to ski,” Justice suggested.
“Echo!” shouted Google, enjoying the sound of their voices being reflected back off the dome's walls.
Jupiter nervously looked up at the roof – a good 150 metres above their heads.
“I've got a bad feeling about this,” he said.
“Oh come on, what's not to love?” asked Google.
At that moment, everything started to shake.
“Gravity storm! Run for the cabin,” Justice screamed over the noise.

The four run as fast as they could through the slush towards a single cabin that stood in the middle of the dome – closing the door just as the first flakes of snow shot off into the air. A second or two later they, too, went shooting upwards, smashing into the cabin's ceiling.
“I knew it!”
Jupiter tapped Liberty on the arm and pointed at something outside the window.
She looked out and saw a sign, proudly proclaiming: Welcome to the Largest Snow Dome in the Galaxy!
“You've got to be shitting me.”
“Look!” Google yelled, just as the rumbling stopped and he went smashing down onto a couch below. The group picked themselves up off the floor, Justice making sure Google was okay. Google waved away his concerns.
“I saw a trap door in the ground – I think it was meant to be hidden under the snow. Let's check it out," he said opening the cabin door.
They all steped outside, then paused in wonder to silently watch as the snow fell gently to the ground around them.

When the moment passed, Google led them to the area he thought he'd seen the door and directed them where to dig.
“Come on, we need to hurry – who knows when the next gravity storm will hit,” he said, as he jumped to the ground and started pushing the snow away frantically.
“It's ok. I think we've got just under 29 minutes,” replied Jupiter, pointing to a clock on the dome wall, counting down to the next 'Snow Show'.
“Here it is!” Liberty yelled as she dusted some snow away from a small trap door, no larger than ten centimetres. Lifting the lid, she discovered a red button.
“Press it!” said Google.
“Ah, what if it turns the gravity off?” Justice asked.
“Follow me, I've got an idea,” said Jupiter.
The four headed back into the cabin, standing at the doorway.
“So, what's your genius plan?” Liberty asked.
“This,” said Jupiter as he rolled up a snowball and threw it as hard as he could at the red button in the distance – eventually landing about 5 feet short.
“Ok – so it might take a little while,” he added, seconds before Liberty unleashed her own snow ball and hit it dead centre.
“Or not.”
“This is exciting!” yelled Google.
Liberty shot him a look.
“Well it is,” he said, sounding more subdued. “Look!”

From the far corner of the snow-filled dome, a man in a burgundy monk-like robe appeared and began to walk towards them. As he approached closer, Jupiter noticed the tall, thin, mystery man was occasionally flickering, like static on a tv screen.
“It's a hologram,” Justice noted before Jupiter could get a word out.
“Right you are, my friend,” responded the hologram. “Allow me to introduce myself – I am a computer representation of Alexander Vogel, programmed to think and respond as he most likely would.”
“I never knew the world's smartest man was a monk!” said Google. “I guess it makes sense – all the meditation and stuff.”
“A monk? Oh, you mean this?” said the hologram laughing, pointing to his robe. “This is merely my Snuggie – it's so comfortable. Really, it's just like wearing a blanket with sleeves.”
“World's smartest man?” Liberty muttered to Jupiter, who choked back a small laugh.
“We've come here for The Trinity Key, Mr Vogel,” Google said, ignoring them both.
“Very good. Congratulations on making it this far, my child. However, I must warn you, The Trinity Key posses a power that even someone with my vast intelligence cannot and could not fathom. When I hid my section of the key here, I had no conception that its innate power would magnify the force of the gravity suppressor in this snow dome. You've not doubt seen the horror and devastation that miscalculation caused. So, I ask you now, to consider very carefully – to really ponder and think: Are you sure you wish to pursue the Trinity Key?”
“Yep.”
“Of course.”
“Let's do it.”
“Duh.”

“In that case...,” the hologram clicked its fingers and the ground started to shake.
“It's another gravity storm, run!” yelled Google.
“Wait!” replied Justice, pointing into the distance as some objects rose up out of the white expanse. Finally the snow shifted away, revealing what appeared to be the set of a TV game show.
“It's time for: Who wants a piece of The Trinity Key?” said the hologram as game show music blasted from speakers scattered around the dome.
“The rules are simple – answer five questions correctly and a piece of the Trinity Key is yours. Answer one wrong and one of you dies. So, shall we play?” asked the hologram.
“Ah... just fill us in on that whole, one of us dies part. That seems a bit... extreme,” said Jupiter.
“Well, this is a test of your intelligence, is it not? You need to prove how smart you are under pressure. After all, possessing The Trinity Key could put your very lives in danger. I need to know it'll be in the hands of people up to the challenge,” said Alexander's hologram before smiling.

“Plus, I do think it makes the whole thing a lot more exciting, don't you?”

Justice and Liberty watched, hands on blasters ready, as Jupiter opened the main hatch leading to the outside world. The door slowly creaked open as a fresh breeze blew into the ship.

“Well hello, friend! You've chosen the perfect time to visit! Sorry about the knocking, I didn't see the doorbell,” said the friendly silver robot standing outside the door. “My name's Miller – Welcome to Super-Sunny-Happy-Fun-Bright Land,” he added, swinging his arms wide open and twirling around.

Jupiter stared at him dumb-founded. “Ah... thanks...”

From the look of the robot, Jupiter figured it must be over two hundred years old – an Ichi series. While they were designed to look like humans, Ichi-class robots were completely silver as to be easily identifiable. They were later replaced by the Ni, who even more closely resembled humans: the silver outer replaced with a skin-like substance. The Ni didn't last long though, as people found it creepy how they could appear so lifelike and yet somehow still have a cold deadness in their eyes. (This was later dubbed The Polar Express Effect.) The Ni were replaced with the San, who looked more like stylised anime-cartoon people.

“Well don't just stand there like a statue frozen in ice, let's get those feet moving people, there's so much to see, I almost don't know where to begin,” Miller said happily.

The four disembarked from The Blackbird and followed Miller as he made his way through Fantabulous City – one of the four main cities on the planet. Outside, the city was a mix of state-of-the-art buildings and picturesque parks, all of which seemed just a little too clean and pristine. Apart from the complete lack of life, the only other thing that seemed clearly out of the ordinary was a thin metal rail that ran through the centre of every street.

“So, where is everyone, Miller?” asked Justice as they walked down one of the countless deserted laneways.

“Oh, I imagine they'll all be back any minute. Who could stay away from this place – just look at it. It's so peaceful. And the weather! Why, if weather is Mother Nature's way of singing, today would be a number one smash hit.”

“Yeah, that's great metalhead, but meanwhile your planet is surrounded by millions of dead bodies. What's up with that?” asked Liberty.

“Oh, well, they look marvellous at dusk, Miss; the way the sun hits them just so... No other planet has anything quite like it. It's a unique feature.”

“You're a SalesBot for the terra-forming company, aren't you?” asked Jupiter.

“How could you tell, sir?”

“Lucky guess.”

An eerie silence covered the city as Jupiter glanced around, taking in the sights. Everywhere he turned expensive cars and space shuttles lay abandoned while the sun shone brightly, reflected off all the tall skyscrapers, the majority with exteriors made entirely from glass.

“It's so quiet,” said Google, sounding a little spooked.

"And yet the city's beauty speaks for itself,” replied Miller.

“How long is it since you've seen humans here?”

“Over two hundred years I'd estimate. Yes sir, this beautiful planet is in 'as new' condition.”

Suddenly, there was sound, as the entire city began to rumble and shake. Liberty and Justice quickly flanked Google; Liberty pointing her blaster at Miller.

“What's going on?”

“Earthquake?” asked Justice.

Miller laughed nervously. “Oh, this? Why it's nothing. But perhaps you better put these on.” The robot handed them what appeared to be safety harnesses like those used in rock climbing. The group looked at each other confused and, not sure what else to do, did as they were told.

“Okay, you have five seconds to tell us what's going on,” yelled Liberty over the noise of the rumbling, as Miller attached their harnesses to the metal bar running along the street.

All a sudden everyone flew up in the air like drunk seagulls, arms and legs all over the place, before the wire connected to the harnesses snapped taut – holding them in place eight feet above the ground.

“What's going on?” Liberty yelled down at Miller, who was still standing safely on the ground.

“Nothing to be worried about: just a slight gravity storm. We get them from time to time – keeps things exciting doesn't it!” he yelled back.

With a groan, the metal rail began to bend and started rise up at its base, working its way free from underneath the concrete. Miller laughed nervously to himself as he casually placed his hands on it, preventing it from lifting up any further. Then, just as quickly as the rumbling began, it stopped and the four dropped from the sky, like an even drunker seagull - Google landing comfortably on the bodies of Liberty and Justice. One by one, they slowly picked themselves up off the ground, feeling more than a little sorry for themselves.

“So that's what happened to everyone – they all got sucked off the planet in a gravity storm, didn't they?” Jupiter asked as he inspected a graze on his elbow.

“One could theorise that, yes. But as you can see, with the new safety bars I've installed, it'll never be a problem again. And it's all free of charge, should you choose to live here.”

“Do you have any idea what causes the gravity storms?” asked Google.

“No idea, I'm afraid. I'm just lucky the Ichi-series of robots are much heavier than the newer models: you should've seen the surprised look on all those smug Ni-bots as they went floating up.”

“Well, this is just great,” said Liberty. “For all we know the Trinity Key got blown off this planet in a gravity storm centuries ago.”

“Trinity Key?” asked Miller. “You seek the Trinity Key? Well, why didn't you say so?” he added, laughing happily. “Come, let's get back to your shuttle and I can take you straight there.”

The Blackbird roared to life, flying through Fantabulous city at speed, weaving in and out of skyscrapers before finally hitting the outskirts of the city, racing over green, country farmland. Miller pointed to something in the distance near some cornfields and instructed Jupiter to prepare to land. Then it came into view: a giant 150-metre dome, made of glass and metal.

“I still remember when Alexander Vogel first visited this planet. It was so long, long ago. Anyway, if my memory circuits are correct – the rumours were that the Trinity Key was placed in this here dome.”

“Have you ever been inside the dome?”

“Oh no. Androids are forbidden from entering,” he said, sadly.

The crew exited the Blackbird and cautiously made their way towards the entrance. As they gathered around the two large, steel doors, Google asked them to pause for a moment.

“If the legend is correct, inside we will find a challenge from one of the world's greatest thinkers; a challenge that is said to test the very limits of human intelligence. One might realistically think we have no chance of passing such a test, but consider this: in merely making it this far, we have outperformed and outsmarted millions of treasure hunters throughout the ages. Let us now dare dream the impossible,” he said, before turning to push open the door.

No luck. The door wouldn't budge. He pushed harder.

“It's locked,” sighed Google.

“Ahem,” coughed Jupiter, as he pointed to a sticker on the door; a sticker bearing one word.

Pull.

The story so far:
Our heroes are making their way to Super-Sunny-Happy-Bright-Fun Land in the hope of finding the first piece of the fabled Trinity Key – an item they believe holds the secret to defeating the evil Prince Mykur. So far the story has had space battles, rooms of death and evil lions, but still has a distinct lack of Cher.

“It's logical,” said Justice as he loaded a carton of supplies into the main cabin of The Blackbird, under Abe's careful watch. “Somebody needs to keep an lookout for Mykur while we're on the planet.”
“No, it's discrimination! It's simply because I'm an ape! I know how you humans think: what use could an ape be on a mission requiring intelligence? You think I'm only good for Monkey Work.”
Justice sighed. “No, I dare say Jupiter chose you to stay behind because you're the only one he trusts with his ship.”
“Of course you'd say that. You're Cokecasian, you wouldn't know the first thing about discrimination,” Abe replied as he went about checking that the electronics were working as required.
“That's not true,” said Justice. “I studied Ancient History at the academy and learnt plenty about discrimination. In fact, it may surprise you to know that arty people were discriminated against once, too.”
“Sure,” scoffed Abe.
“No, it's true. People even used to hold this thing they called 'The Mardi Gras', where arty people were forced to march down a street in ridiculous, degrading outfits for the amusement and derision of the mainstream crowd. It's a disgusting little bit of history that's conveniently been swept under the rug by the mainstreamers.”

The main hatch then swung open and Liberty climbed into the shuttle, carrying a passed-out Google over her shoulder.
“Justice, which blaster should I take – the red or the black one?” she asked as she dropped Google into one of the seats.
“Um, the red one.”
“Really – I thought the black one would go better with my stun grenades.”
“Fine, the black one then, Libby. Does it really matter?”
“You never could get your head around co-ordinating weapons. I still can't believe you get to be in charge of pursuing and neutralising threats while I'm stuck babysitting Google, making sure he's safe.”
Jupiter rolled his eyes and gave the answer he'd given many a time, “Maybe it's because you had a slight habit of killing any threats before they could be interrogated.”

“Uh, why is there a dead Google on my ship?” asked Jupiter as he entered the main cabin from the cockpit.
“He's just drugged. We usually do it whenever we need to jump somewhere – it saves time arguing about the need to jump. You didn't buy his death sickness excuse, did you?” Justice replied.
“Excuse?”
“Yeah, he doesn't really get death sickness, he's just terrified of space jumps, naturally enough. Hates to admit it though,” said Justice.
“Have you even read the prophecy about him?” asked Liberty.
“I read it in school once,” replied Jupiter. “I preferred sports. Refresh me.”
Liberty sighed, “Justice, you do it.”
“Ok, do you remember the first section of the prophecy, that told us how to identify the chosen one?” asked Justice.
“Yeah, vaguely.”
“So – what were the signs to look for?”
“The birth mark in the shape of a skull on his right shoulder blade.”
“And?” said Justice, encouraging Jupiter to keep going.
“That he'd be an orphan... something about losing his parents at the age of 7. That they'd die in... Oh.”
“Yes, a space jump mishap that only the chosen one would miraculously survive. So I guess we can forgive him for being a bit twitchy,” Justice said.
“Yeah, of course you'd say that – you're never the one having drug and carry him. He's starting to get suspicious every time I offer him food.”

After finishing loading the ship, the crew said their goodbyes to Abe and The Blackbird made its way out from The Crusader.
“How many skeletons do you think are in those rings around the planet?” asked Justice, slightly disturbed by at the sight of them close up.
“Millions. Maybe billions.” answered Liberty.
“I'm still not picking up any signs of life on the planet,” Jupiter called out from the cockpit.
Liberty unbuckled herself from her seat in the main cabin and walked towards Jupiter.
“None at all?”
“Nope. So which port do you want me to jump to?” asked Jupiter. Then, “Wait, a minute. I'm getting something... Something is moving down there, but it's not human whatever it is.”
“Gen-en animals?” asked Liberty.
“No... it appears to be humanoid in size and shape, but I'm not getting any body heat or vitals off the readings.”
“Take us down as close to it as you can.”
“Ok, preparing to jump – tell Justice to strap himself in,” Jupiter said as he started to flick some switches.

The Blackbird, being a smaller vessel than The Love Crusader, didn't have a dedicated room for its Dead-Ezy teleportation machinery. Instead the technology was incorporated into all of the seats – with a small laser injection shooting out from the cushions. When everyone was safely dead, the ship would automatically jump to the input destination.

The crew recovered from the jump as per usual. That is to say, very badly, particularly Liberty who started to vomit as soon as she got over the temporary three-minute paralysis.
“What's going on?” asked Google when he finally came to.
“We just landed on Super-Sunny-Happy-Bright-Fun Land,” replied Justice.
“Damnit! It was in the bacon and eggs this time, wasn't it? I knew it. I wish you'd stop doing that! So what's the situ?”
“No signs of life on planet,” replied Liberty, before pausing to vomit. Then, “Planet seems conducive to life by all readings: oxygen, gravity, everything's within normal parameters.” More vomit. Then, a wipe of her mouth and, “We've landed close to the only form of movement on the planet.”
“Liberty, perhaps you better jump back to sick bay and sit this one out,” suggested Jupiter. “Blackbird's got home jump function – it can teleport you back to the Crusader while the ship stays here on the surface.”
Liberty shot him a look. “I didn't just throw up my breakfast for nothing. Let's get a move on, people,” she said as she started to gather her weapons.

“We... we jumped near the one thing that's moving on this planet... this planet that's surrounded by dead bodies... and this thing that's moving down here, it isn't human. Are we sure I'm the only one who's been drugged?” asked Google nervously. “I mean... it could be anything. What if it's a Darkling?”
“Oh, come on kid, the Trinity Key is one thing, but now you're worried about bogeyman from another dimension?”
At that very moment, three loud bangs rocked the ship.

Then the doorbell rang.