Chapter 3 - Planet Doon
“Just answer the question!” Liberty bellowed fiercely. Everything about Liberty was fierce: her manner, her eyes, her beauty and, especially, her temper. “Okay you have three seconds to answer or… or I’ll shoot your pinkie finger off.”
Google looked up at her and let out a small laugh, “You so would not.”
“Just calm down Libby. Google’s old enough to make these decisions now,” said Liberty’s brother, Justice.
“Fine. I’ll shoot your fingers off instead,” Liberty replied.
“Okay, that she might do,” conceded Google.
“Computer get sick bay ready,” Justice said calmly as Liberty pulled a blaster from her hip holster and marched over to her brother, who was busy playing a game of hologram chess.
Pinning his hand to the table with her gun, she said, “You know I’ll do it.”
Justice looked up at her with the same ‘sad, puppy dog eyes’ expression that he’d used on her countless times throughout their 27 years.
“You're embarrassing yourself. I’m a trained killer; you really think that stupid look will save your fingers?”
“No, I’m your little baby brother – I know it will,” he said with a smirk.
“You’re only younger by 12 minutes,” she replied, cocking the gun.
“Cool it you guys. Didn’t you hear that? Listen – we just broke atmo; no more arguments. We meet up with the two of them as planned.”
Liberty looked over at the main monitor, then un-cocked her blaster and placed it back in its holster.
“Hey, I don’t like it any more than you sis, but Google…”
“Knows what he’s doing,” interrupted Google. “This is the only hope we have against Prince Mykur. Don't you get it? The time for fun and games is over - the fate of the entire Galaxy rests on our shoulders. Now can one of you fetch me a towel? I tire of this Jacuzzi,” said Google as he pulled himself up out of the spa situated in the centre of the cockpit.
Liberty threw a towel at him. “Tell me everything you know about these two.”
#
“So, what do we know about those other two he’s with?” asked Jupiter as he piloted The Love Crusader down towards Planet Doon.
“Brother-sister team, raised from birth to protect the chosen one. Fluent in all martial arts self-defence and weaponry.”
“All?”
“Well, pretty much all. They’ve been actively working as Google’s bodyguards since their 18th birthday, over 9 years ago. Though they’re both technically bodyguards, their roles are actually more nuanced. In the event of an attack, Liberty, the girl, is in charge of moving Google to safe location while Justice is in charge of pursuing and neutralising the perpetrators of any threat.”
“Hmm, so Justice is the muscle in the team. We need to keep an eye on him then, I don’t want to get muscled out of our pay. Anything else?”
“Well there is one small thing.”
“What?”
#
“He’s Pepsian! Great,” muttered Liberty as she paced around the sun bed where Google was tanning.
“No Lib he’s not, his parents were. It doesn't say where he was born. Besides, it's not an issue - the Cola Wars were a long time ago.”
#
“They’re from Coke World? Great,” muttered Jupiter as he lay down on his cockpit couch.
“They wouldn’t even have been born when Cola War 2 ended. It’s probably not an issue.”
“You’ve obviously never dealt with a Cokecasian before.”
The Cola Wars had been a particularly violent part of galaxy history. Late in the 22nd century The Coca-Cola Company formed its own world. On that world everyone was taught to live by Coke’s core brand values. The belief was that the shared environment on the home world would lead to greater team building and synchronicity of thoughts and operations. Eventually Coke Schools were established along with all other types of essential infrastructure like hospitals, public transport and beach volleyball teams.
Keen not to be left behind, the PepsiCo Company also established their own home world, Planet Pepsi, and went about trying to make it even better than Coke World. Despite the fact that the two worlds shared much in common (not limited to having upbeat pop songs for national anthems), they viewed each other with contempt and suspicion. They became rivals at everything – in particular they were very competitive in all sports popular with the 12-30 year old demographic.
Tensions finally erupted when the PepsiCo president launched their world’s new tagline “The future's Pepsi”. Believing this to be a veiled threat, Coke retaliated with its own tagline, “Coke – the only choice”. Planet Pepsi thought this was a blatant hint at a pre-emptive strike designed to wipe out Pepsi, so they launched a pre-pre-emptive attack on Coke World and the rest is history. (However, it should be noted that some scholars believe the attack was actually launched by Red Bull Moon with the intention of triggering such a war between its rivals.)
The Cola Wars were among the bloodiest, cruellest wars the galaxy had ever seen, but everyone agreed they also had some of the most flashy, well produced propaganda ever, featuring a who’s who of the entertainment industry and several hit songs. The wars also brought about new standards of excellence in the use of product placement during war coverage. (Some conspiracy theorists actually claim that the second Cola War was concocted by the Coke and PepsiCo presidents working together, having seen what great results the first war had achieved for brand name recognition.)
“We're here,” said Jupiter as he guided The Love Crusader down onto Planet Doon's surface.
“Good. Now, just don't mention the war and everything'll be fine.”
#
The surface of Planet Doon was a hostile desert wasteland. In fact, it had originally been named Planet Dune after the famous novel, due to its eerie resemblance to the desert planet featured in that book. However, a year after settlement Planet Dune was invaded by copyright lawyers and has been known as Planet Doon ever since. Doon also has the second toughest water restrictions in the galaxy, next only to New Melbourne which was currently running a “Target 155ml per person, per day” water use campaign.
The Down & Out Inn, one of Planet Doon’s most popular underground hangouts, was doing a roaring trade as Jupiter and Abe made their way in. They found Google and Justice sitting in a quiet corner, as far away from the New Age Techno Jazz band as possible.
“Nice to meet you,” said Google shaking their hands and offering them a seat. “I'm Google – the chosen one and this is Justice.”
“You can call me Justin, if you prefer. Parents were a little over zealous in broadcasting their beliefs. Nice to meet you both.”
“Likewise, now excuse me while I get a scotch on the rocks,” said Abe.
“You might want to rethink that,” offered Justice. “This is the one planet where they actually use refrigerated rocks. Water's too rare.”
“Thanks for the tip,” Abe replied as he got up and made his way to the bar.
Jupiter silently weighed up the two people sitting opposite him.
“So shall we chat about money? Your message said you'll pay 500 credits a day, but I know for a fact you’re sitting on a fortune, what with all the cash you get from the Intergalactic Council. So, let’s make it 1000 credits and you've got yourselves a deal.”
“Typical Pepsian,” scoffed a voice from above. “Only concerned about money.”
Jupiter looked up, just as Liberty dropped down from her place of hiding in the ceiling above.
“And this is my sister Liberty, ready to play sniper. Forgive us for being cautious. She wanted to make sure you are who you say you are.”
“That’s perfectly fine. Abe is playing sniper for me right now, too.”
“Are you sure? He seems to be doing shots by the bar,” said Liberty.
“That’s just his cover,” said Jupiter without looking around. “And for the record, I'm not Pepsian. I’m a Martian.”
“I would’ve assumed you were born on Jupiter,” said Google.
“Nope, Mars. I was meant to born on Jupiter, but I arrived early and my parents were set on the name.”
“Do you make it a habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time?” asked Liberty.
“On second thought, 1000 credits may not be enough,” Jupiter said under his breath.
Liberty shot up out of her seat angrily and leaned over the table at Jupiter, “Don’t you care about what’s going on in? Can’t you see? You should be offering to help for free. Mykur is going to rule the Galaxy the way things are going.”
“Well someone’s got to rule it honey,” Jupiter said as he leaned back in his seat casually. “What I care about is money. With enough credits, it doesn’t matter who’s in power.”
“Let’s go,” Liberty said. “We could find better treasure hunters in a cereal box.”
Google put a hand on her arm, gently encouraging her to stay put.
“We can give you 750,” Google said. “The Intergalactic Council isn't supporting me very much these days. You could say they're hedging their bets as Mykur's power grows.”
“Ok, you've got yourself a deal kid,” said Jupiter leaning forward and shaking on it. Liberty sunk back into her seat, annoyed.
“Now, what do you want with a couple of treasure hunters like Abe and me anyway? You’ve already got plenty of credits.”
“Well that’s the thing – it’s not treasure or money I seek. Tell me, have you ever heard the legend of the three heroes?”
Google looked up at her and let out a small laugh, “You so would not.”
“Just calm down Libby. Google’s old enough to make these decisions now,” said Liberty’s brother, Justice.
“Fine. I’ll shoot your fingers off instead,” Liberty replied.
“Okay, that she might do,” conceded Google.
“Computer get sick bay ready,” Justice said calmly as Liberty pulled a blaster from her hip holster and marched over to her brother, who was busy playing a game of hologram chess.
Pinning his hand to the table with her gun, she said, “You know I’ll do it.”
Justice looked up at her with the same ‘sad, puppy dog eyes’ expression that he’d used on her countless times throughout their 27 years.
“You're embarrassing yourself. I’m a trained killer; you really think that stupid look will save your fingers?”
“No, I’m your little baby brother – I know it will,” he said with a smirk.
“You’re only younger by 12 minutes,” she replied, cocking the gun.
“Cool it you guys. Didn’t you hear that? Listen – we just broke atmo; no more arguments. We meet up with the two of them as planned.”
Liberty looked over at the main monitor, then un-cocked her blaster and placed it back in its holster.
“Hey, I don’t like it any more than you sis, but Google…”
“Knows what he’s doing,” interrupted Google. “This is the only hope we have against Prince Mykur. Don't you get it? The time for fun and games is over - the fate of the entire Galaxy rests on our shoulders. Now can one of you fetch me a towel? I tire of this Jacuzzi,” said Google as he pulled himself up out of the spa situated in the centre of the cockpit.
Liberty threw a towel at him. “Tell me everything you know about these two.”
#
“So, what do we know about those other two he’s with?” asked Jupiter as he piloted The Love Crusader down towards Planet Doon.
“Brother-sister team, raised from birth to protect the chosen one. Fluent in all martial arts self-defence and weaponry.”
“All?”
“Well, pretty much all. They’ve been actively working as Google’s bodyguards since their 18th birthday, over 9 years ago. Though they’re both technically bodyguards, their roles are actually more nuanced. In the event of an attack, Liberty, the girl, is in charge of moving Google to safe location while Justice is in charge of pursuing and neutralising the perpetrators of any threat.”
“Hmm, so Justice is the muscle in the team. We need to keep an eye on him then, I don’t want to get muscled out of our pay. Anything else?”
“Well there is one small thing.”
“What?”
#
“He’s Pepsian! Great,” muttered Liberty as she paced around the sun bed where Google was tanning.
“No Lib he’s not, his parents were. It doesn't say where he was born. Besides, it's not an issue - the Cola Wars were a long time ago.”
#
“They’re from Coke World? Great,” muttered Jupiter as he lay down on his cockpit couch.
“They wouldn’t even have been born when Cola War 2 ended. It’s probably not an issue.”
“You’ve obviously never dealt with a Cokecasian before.”
The Cola Wars had been a particularly violent part of galaxy history. Late in the 22nd century The Coca-Cola Company formed its own world. On that world everyone was taught to live by Coke’s core brand values. The belief was that the shared environment on the home world would lead to greater team building and synchronicity of thoughts and operations. Eventually Coke Schools were established along with all other types of essential infrastructure like hospitals, public transport and beach volleyball teams.
Keen not to be left behind, the PepsiCo Company also established their own home world, Planet Pepsi, and went about trying to make it even better than Coke World. Despite the fact that the two worlds shared much in common (not limited to having upbeat pop songs for national anthems), they viewed each other with contempt and suspicion. They became rivals at everything – in particular they were very competitive in all sports popular with the 12-30 year old demographic.
Tensions finally erupted when the PepsiCo president launched their world’s new tagline “The future's Pepsi”. Believing this to be a veiled threat, Coke retaliated with its own tagline, “Coke – the only choice”. Planet Pepsi thought this was a blatant hint at a pre-emptive strike designed to wipe out Pepsi, so they launched a pre-pre-emptive attack on Coke World and the rest is history. (However, it should be noted that some scholars believe the attack was actually launched by Red Bull Moon with the intention of triggering such a war between its rivals.)
The Cola Wars were among the bloodiest, cruellest wars the galaxy had ever seen, but everyone agreed they also had some of the most flashy, well produced propaganda ever, featuring a who’s who of the entertainment industry and several hit songs. The wars also brought about new standards of excellence in the use of product placement during war coverage. (Some conspiracy theorists actually claim that the second Cola War was concocted by the Coke and PepsiCo presidents working together, having seen what great results the first war had achieved for brand name recognition.)
“We're here,” said Jupiter as he guided The Love Crusader down onto Planet Doon's surface.
“Good. Now, just don't mention the war and everything'll be fine.”
#
The surface of Planet Doon was a hostile desert wasteland. In fact, it had originally been named Planet Dune after the famous novel, due to its eerie resemblance to the desert planet featured in that book. However, a year after settlement Planet Dune was invaded by copyright lawyers and has been known as Planet Doon ever since. Doon also has the second toughest water restrictions in the galaxy, next only to New Melbourne which was currently running a “Target 155ml per person, per day” water use campaign.
The Down & Out Inn, one of Planet Doon’s most popular underground hangouts, was doing a roaring trade as Jupiter and Abe made their way in. They found Google and Justice sitting in a quiet corner, as far away from the New Age Techno Jazz band as possible.
“Nice to meet you,” said Google shaking their hands and offering them a seat. “I'm Google – the chosen one and this is Justice.”
“You can call me Justin, if you prefer. Parents were a little over zealous in broadcasting their beliefs. Nice to meet you both.”
“Likewise, now excuse me while I get a scotch on the rocks,” said Abe.
“You might want to rethink that,” offered Justice. “This is the one planet where they actually use refrigerated rocks. Water's too rare.”
“Thanks for the tip,” Abe replied as he got up and made his way to the bar.
Jupiter silently weighed up the two people sitting opposite him.
“So shall we chat about money? Your message said you'll pay 500 credits a day, but I know for a fact you’re sitting on a fortune, what with all the cash you get from the Intergalactic Council. So, let’s make it 1000 credits and you've got yourselves a deal.”
“Typical Pepsian,” scoffed a voice from above. “Only concerned about money.”
Jupiter looked up, just as Liberty dropped down from her place of hiding in the ceiling above.
“And this is my sister Liberty, ready to play sniper. Forgive us for being cautious. She wanted to make sure you are who you say you are.”
“That’s perfectly fine. Abe is playing sniper for me right now, too.”
“Are you sure? He seems to be doing shots by the bar,” said Liberty.
“That’s just his cover,” said Jupiter without looking around. “And for the record, I'm not Pepsian. I’m a Martian.”
“I would’ve assumed you were born on Jupiter,” said Google.
“Nope, Mars. I was meant to born on Jupiter, but I arrived early and my parents were set on the name.”
“Do you make it a habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time?” asked Liberty.
“On second thought, 1000 credits may not be enough,” Jupiter said under his breath.
Liberty shot up out of her seat angrily and leaned over the table at Jupiter, “Don’t you care about what’s going on in? Can’t you see? You should be offering to help for free. Mykur is going to rule the Galaxy the way things are going.”
“Well someone’s got to rule it honey,” Jupiter said as he leaned back in his seat casually. “What I care about is money. With enough credits, it doesn’t matter who’s in power.”
“Let’s go,” Liberty said. “We could find better treasure hunters in a cereal box.”
Google put a hand on her arm, gently encouraging her to stay put.
“We can give you 750,” Google said. “The Intergalactic Council isn't supporting me very much these days. You could say they're hedging their bets as Mykur's power grows.”
“Ok, you've got yourself a deal kid,” said Jupiter leaning forward and shaking on it. Liberty sunk back into her seat, annoyed.
“Now, what do you want with a couple of treasure hunters like Abe and me anyway? You’ve already got plenty of credits.”
“Well that’s the thing – it’s not treasure or money I seek. Tell me, have you ever heard the legend of the three heroes?”
Gosh Luke, could you write any more entertainingly? I think you should quickly get some of those ideas and terminology copyrighted!
Cola War 2... instigated by Red Bull. :)
The narration was great in this one. I like how you've set up Libby and Justin too.
Beach volleyball teams. :)
Lol.
Dale.
So cool (and dare I say 'scarily realistic'? Seriously, I imagine there's a pretty good likelihood Coke and Pepsi actually would have their own planets in the future) ... either way, this is very entertaining.
I also noticed activity on Ashton X ... could you add me so I can jump in?
Cheerio!
Jimzip :D