INTO THE BLACK

Google stared at the stunningly attractive girl in front of him and found he couldn't think of a single thing to say. Say something smart he thought to himself. Or something funny. Or perhaps I should say something heroic. 'Hi, I'm Google Jones and I'm here to rescue you'. Or would that be pompous? What if she doesn't need rescuing. Is it chauvinistic of me to assume she would? Perhaps 'Hi, I'm Google Jones and I can rescue you... if you want. I mean, I don't mind. Either way. I'm cool'? Yeah, that could work. Has a nice casual feel about it. Oh god, she's looking at me. Wow, she's really cute when she uses her eyes. Ok, I'm going to say something. Any minute...

“Who are you?” Abe demanded as he pointed his blaster at the girl.

“I'm Uranus.”

Such a beautiful name thought Google.

“I'm afraid Olga escaped a week ago. That's when I was moved here, but for some reason they keep calling me Olga. It's possible they were trying to lure you into a trap.”

“Gee, you don't say,” said Abe, glaring across at Billy and Google.

“Hey, I know you,” said Uranus. “You're Google Jones – the chosen one!”

She knows me! She knows me! Ok, act cool. Don't say anything stupid.

“Yep,” said Google. Phew, that went well. “Google Jones is he who is me. And Uranus is who is you.” Two from two. I'm doing well!

“Uh, this is all great, but shouldn't we be escaping before we got blown up?” asked Abe.

“I'll lead the way to safety,” said Billy as he yawned, awake again.

Damn that should have been my line thought Google.

#

“You have a piece of the Trinity Key here? On your shelf?”

“Prince Mykur's feng shui expert said it clashed with the vibe he was going for in Throne Room #1. So I offered to look after it.”

Jupiter walked over to the shelf while Liberty kept her blaster aimed at Tonkins.

“How do we know it's really the Trinity Key and not a fancy paper weight. Or a bomb?”

“Just take a close look at it,” Tonkins replied.

“He's right Lib. I'm pretty sure this is the second piece,” Jupiter replied.

“How can you tell?” Liberty asked without moving her eyes from Tonkins.

“Well, it's slightly larger than the orb we collected and has more of a halo-like shape about it, but it has the same silverly, translucent look as the first piece. Plus it's hovering in mid-air above my hand.”

Liberty turned to take in the sight.

“I can't believe we actually got it,” Liberty said.

“I'm as shocked as you are,” added Tonkins dryly. “But if you want to live, you better focus on making your speedy getaway. It looks like your furry friend and kids are about to be caught breaking a prisoner out.”

#

Google watched from behind as Billy lead Uranus down the narrow corridor.

“But what do I say to her?” he asked Abe. “Write me some lines. Something romantic. Possibly about roses.”

“It doesn't work like that. If you want someone to fall in love with you, you need to actually let them get to know the real you. You can't pretend to be someone else. Just be yourself around her,” Abe replied. Then quickly added, “Although dialling back the awkwardness couldn't hurt. Oh, and try not to do that pompous git thing you do.”

“I'll do my best. Wish me luck,” Google said as he picked up his pace to catch up to the others.

“I like Uranus” Google said as he reached them.

“Huh?” said Uranus as she turned to face him.

“I like your name,” Google repeated.

“Oh, thanks. Yeah, I was born there when my parents were on holiday. My poor sister wasn't so lucky. She was born on Venus.”

Google laughed. “That is unfortunate.”

“I like your name, too,” Uranus said. “It's kind of exotic. What's it from?”

“I think it's latin for 'to search'” Google replied.

“We better hurry,” said Billy as they reached the portrait of the fat lady. “If they discover we've broken a prisoner out, dad will send the death eaters after us.”

“Death eaters?”

“It's what his security force are called.”

“What's all this chatter?” asked the fat lady as she woke up inside her painting.

“Blatant copyright infringement,” Billy told the fat lady.

“Password denied,” the fat lady responded.

“Denied. Why?”

“We're in shut down mode, all portraits have been ordered to remain frozen,” said the fat lady.

“But you can let us through, can't you?” asked Abe. “I mean we know the password, so we can't be the ones they're after.”

“What do you think I am? Some neurotic security computer! I am a lady and a lady never breaks her word. No entry!”

“We're dead,” moaned Abe.

“No there's another way. Quick, follow me if you want to live!” Billy said.

“I was just about to say that,” Google told Uranus. "Really, I was."

#

Liberty, Jupiter and Justice raced up the ramp and into The Love Crusader where they began a frantic search of the ship.

“Tonkins was right. There's no sign of them,” Jupiter finally said.

“Great! If they're not dead, I'm going to kill them!”

“Ah, that's not the worst of it guys,” Justice added looking down at the cockpit monitors. “They're starting to lock down the exits due to some security breach. If they don't get here soon, we'll be trapped.”

#

Billy led the group through one grey corridor after another until they ended up at a thick, black metal door with spikes protruding from it.

“Oh, this doesn't look ominous at all,” said Abe.

“Relax, it's just my bedroom,” Billy replied as he keyed in a code and the door hissed open.

“Oh my... uh... this is, um, nice,” said Uranus nervously as they made their way into the room. Kids toys littered the room but everyone's attention was fixed firmly on the mural painted along the walls. A mural that depicted the Mykur family's long history of patricide.

“That's, uh, an interesting piece of art,” said Abe, holding back a gulp.

“There's a lot of... red paint,” added Google.

“Yeah, that guy being decapitated over there is my great-great grandfather. Dad always said I have his eyes,” Billy replied as he pushed a toy crate out of the way and removed a section of the floor below. “We can get out through this tunnel.”

“You dug a secret tunnel out of your own bedroom?” asked Google.

“You saw the mural, didn't you? I always knew one day I'd need to escape or be killed.”

Billy was first to drop down into the tunnel, then Abe. Google and Uranus followed, finding it's kid-sized nature more claustrophobic than the others.

“So... do you come here often?” Google asked Uranus as they crawled along.

“You mean to evil, creepy castles. Not so much. You?”

“First time.” He looked across at her. “It's not that bad though, thanks to the company.” He paused, then added, “I meant you, not the monkey and the pre-schooler.”

Uranus smiled. “You're sweet. If we're not slaughtered in the next few minutes we should totally catch up for coffee sometime.”

“Oh, I'm lactose intolerant,” said Google.

“Me too! Well I used to be too, but then I took the cure.”

“My bodyguards wouldn't let me risk it. In case it had side effects.”

“But you're so brave... I used to watch all the Google Jones, Chosen One cartoons when I was a kid. Nothing scares you.”

“Yeah, they tend to exaggerate stuff a little. I'm not that brave.”

“Oh really?” said Uranus. “Because I could've sworn you were risking your life to save me.”

“Well you were sort of on the way so...” said Google as smoothly as he could manage. Up ahead Abe and Billy climbed out of the tunnel.

“Kiss me,” said Uranus.

“You mean right now? Here?”

“Yeah, that's my ship Kiss me, right up there. Billy's tunnel lead straight to my docking bay! What are the odds?”

“Ah, yeah, great,” said Google. “Yay.” Then a bit more petulantly, “Isn't Kiss me an odd name for a ship?”

“What ship did you come here on?”

“The Love Crusader.”

“Will you kids stop gossiping and get up here. Life or death situation, remember?” Abe yelled down at them. Google climbed up before helping lift Uranus out.

“We're in Bay 330, it's only a few doors down from our bay.”

“Well, I guess this is where we say goodbye,” said Uranus. “Thanks for rescuing me and good luck with the whole saving the universe thing.”

“Yeah, uh, goodbye,” said Google as he hung his head and followed Abe and Billy back towards the bay exit. Then he stopped. Sighed. Turned back and stared at Uranus as she went about getting her ship ready. Abe watched on.

“Ok. Hurry up and kiss Uranus goodbye,” he told Google. “But make it quick or you can kiss your anus goodbye.”

Google raced over and tapped her on the shoulder. She smiled.

“I... ah, is it ok if I kiss you?” he asked.

“I'll allow it.”

#

“Look! Here are they come!” Liberty said as Abe, Google and Billy came racing up the ramp.

“Let's get out of here,” said Abe as he puffed for breath when he reached the top.

“Where the hell have you been?” Liberty demanded.

“I kissed a girl!” replied Google.

“Ah, guys, change of plans – everyone into The Blackbird,” Justice said.

“Huh?”

“Security just started shutting our airlock. We won't fit through in The Love Crusader – we need to abandon it,” Justice told them.

“But we can't... all my stuff...”

“It's my ship! You can't expect me to just...”

“There's no time!” yelled Justice.

“He's right,” said Liberty. “We've got to go, and we've got to go now!”

Jupiter took one last rueful look around the ship as everyone piled into The Blackbird. He rested his hand gently on one of the walls.

“Thanks for the memories,” he said quietly before closing the door shut.

Seconds later the door flew back open as Liberty raced to the cockpit, grabbed the first piece the Trinity Key and sprinted back towards The Blackbird.

“Can't believe we almost forgot that!”

#

Prince Mykur watched on a hologram display as The Blackbird exploded out of the docking bay just before the airlock slid shut.

“I am glad you talked me into this plan, Tonkins. It's so evil, I'd almost swear I came up with it,” he said chuckling. Then added, “Make sure the records show that I did come up with it and see to it that anyone who knows that I didn't is killed.”

“As you wish my lordship.”

“It will be so much fun killing them once they've collected the final piece of the key for me. You are sure the technicians had enough time to rig the jump functionality on The Blackbird?”

“Yes, as you told them to do. In your plan. Which you created all by yourself.”

“Excellent.”

#

“That was too close!” Abe said as the Blackbird made its way from Prince Mykur's Castle.

“Are you kidding? All in all, things couldn't have gone to plan better,” said Justice. “We got what we came for... and what's this about Google kissing a girl?”

“You got the second piece of the Trinity Key?” asked Abe.

“Yep, it's right here. But we've still got no idea how to find the third piece,” Jupiter said as he took the second piece of the key out of his pocket. The halo vibrated slightly then flew bullet-like through the air. At the same the orb in Liberty's hand shot out of her grasp, joining the halo. Together they floated mid-air, the halo rotating around the smaller orb.

“Ok, that was kinda cool,” said Billy.

“Ah, guys... look at this,” said Jupiter as the lights on Blackbird's control panel lit up like Christmas decorations at a Vegas Christmas Spectacular.

“What's going on?” Liberty asked.

“It's changing our course,” Jupiter replied.

“Where's it taking us?”

“Earth.”